Gambling My Heart

Dear Spain,

You have brought me to tears and laughter. You have brought me to a more adult place where I can take care of myself, yet you’ve opened me up to the possibility of being taken care of by another. You have taught me that brand new is not necessary. You’ve taught me to accompany a simple meal with wine, and chew my food slowly, without desperation to clean my plate. You’ve taught me I’ve got nowhere to go, and everywhere to be. You’ve taught me to walk uphill, and to never ever run downhill. You’ve taught me to always carry a book and iPod, because waiting time is not as bad as it could be. You’ve taught me to leave the house early; to always, always leave the house early. You’ve taught me I can cook; I can actually cook on a daily basis. You’ve taught me that I am not the only person on this planet, and I must make adjustments that aren’t always what I want – just to maintain my relationships with others harmonious. Because you’ve taught me that relationships are as important as the most important thing in the world. You’ve taught me that I can either trust someone because they’ve never failed me. Or I can trust them because I’m gambling my heart. You’ve shown me patience runs out fast – too fast. And fears can only take away not contribute. You’ve shown me your sunrise, your quiet mountains, your pollution clouding the sky, and your irrational reasoning for legal matters. You’ve shown yourself vulnerable, and you’ve made me vulnerable – deeply vulnerable. You’ve given me my first autumn, a splendid autumn. You’ve seen me get pooped on by birds, you’ve seen me losing things, and forgetting others. You’ve seen me completely afraid. You’ve seen me confident, and free. You’ve seen me in tears. You’ve seen me in love. You’ve made me so angry, and you’ve made me unquestionably happy.

My boss asked me this week if I wanted to renew my contract for another year. I have to confirm my answer by next week. Happy 3 month anniversary, Spain. Yes, let’s make this relationship grow for another 19 months.

With ever expanding gratitude,

Lynn

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“All my thoughts, my unhappiest days and nights, have, I find, not at all cured me of my love of Beauty.” John Keats
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3 thoughts on “Gambling My Heart

  1. Keep learning, loving, and challenging yourself. Those are the experiences we will never forget and that are truly worth being vulnerable for.
    I love seeing you go through all of these amazing experiences!

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